Battles

Struggling a bit here. It's always so much harder after being gone for a while. Story goes like this:

Mama and Bub are getting along great...he's learned that she loves kisses, is good at playing trucks and is the best wrestle partner. Life is grand.

Then Mama has to leave for work. Maybe it's just all day...for 4 or 5 days... but she's home at night. Or maybe she's gone for a week or two. Either way, she's gone.

And when she returns, Nash wants nothing to do with her. I mean, aside from the initial 5 minutes where she's the hot new game in town (aka someone new to show off to). Other than that, he's constantly asking for someone else...even when I'm in the room and we're playing, he's not satisfied with just me. He doesn't listen to me...acts like there's no way in hell I'm in charge of him. Cries, throws tantrums...or, in the case of today, falls asleep on the bedroom floor because Mama said he had to get in the bed for naptime.

Maybe it's just terrible twos. Or maybe I'm slowly losing this battle. i mean, who knew I would have a kid that would constantly test me...test my patience, my innovation and my emotions. He just doesn't seem to care much about me most days...and despises me the rest because I'm trying to be strict with him. And everyone's watching. Asking themselves, well gee...he's usually not like this. Yes, I know. It's me.

It's part of a woman's role in life to be a good mother, raise great children and take care of her family. And I feel like I'm failing at that part. Or at least failing by comparison. My husband is more patient. But he's also more lenient. I'm a little hot-headed, but I stick to my guns. Sometimes feel like I'm on team all-alone-out-here-on-discipline-island...but then I'm barely home anyway so what does it matter what rules I enforce or if I slip him a piece of candy every time I see him.

I'm losing. And part of me wants to concede the battle and say, it's all yours. But I know I could never do that. So I'll continue on...failing, losing...