Feeling a little down tonight. Wishing this whole breastfeeding thing was going better. It's not awful, but it's far from perfect.
We do ok, but we have to use the nipple shield. So I worry that he is having to work so hard to get the milk (although there's always milk in there when we stop). I feel like he is cluster feeding so much because he just gets tired of sucking. And then we added in a few bottles during the times he was up for hours fussing, and now I feel like I've opened the flood gates. We used a pacifier too, which I know isn't good, but we've been desperate.
To make matters worse, I feel like Joe is wanting to just go to bottle feeding. He can see how frustrated I get, and how my nipples are hurting, and how easily Nash drinks from a bottle, and he thinks it's ok. But I really want to do this. Going to make an appointment to see Louise...the LC from the hospital...next week. Maybe she can help me. I've read a ton of stuff to try and figure out what I need to do, but I feel like he still isn't taking to it as well as I'd like. He never "empties" a side, or anything like that. He tends to play around a lot, which tells me he is not sucking effectively. All the stuff I've read keeps telling me this behavior is normal, but that doesn't console me when I can't console him. When he's acting hungry for the third time in an hour, yet only tries to suck for a few minutes before playing around or passing out (albeit only temporarily).
I just feel like I'm failing. I'm tired... I feel like I'm not being the mother I want to be.
perfectly normal. dont give up. it was so painful at first for me, but i think that stopped and she really got the hang of it by about three weeks. so just give it time. you will get there. but also too just do what yo feel is best. youre the mommy. but yes, just know that thats normal.
ReplyDeleteand also, she was never emptied me out. she was a very slow eater and would day dream and everything. so dont worry.