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| http://nyc.metblogs.com/2007/09/26/assault-and-fattery/ |
Editor's Note: Please do not judge me for the forthcoming comments.
If you think about it, being pregnant is sort of like being taken hostage by a parasitic organism. This thing swims inside you and plants itself inside your soft tissues to suck the life out of you slowly. This baby is clinging to me, draining me of all my vital nutrients, making me feel and look like shit, and just feels so foreign to me. I can't even run anymore because I swear I can feel it bouncing around in there.
My skin looks like hell, I'm tired and achy all the time, I am emotional, and can't seem to eat one goddamn vegetable a week...how is this beautiful?!?! I find myself wanting it to fast forward so I can just hold the baby and get my body back.
I still can't pass a mirror without doing a double-take...it's so awkward. I have never had even a semblance of a belly before and now it is loud and proud. I can't button my pants, I find it hard to get up from lying down because my abs feel disconnected, and years of disciplined and thoughtful meal planning have magically disappeared. I can't even remember what it's like to eat healthy... How can something so little change you so much!?!? It makes me despise those women who are like, "I ate all organic and unprocessed while I was pregnant." HOW!?!?!?! I'm that girl and I just can't.
::sigh:: This is clearly, for those of you who maybe haven't realized it yet, a product of my fabulous pregnancy hormones, so take it all with a grain of salt.
I'm pregnant, jobless, nearing 150 pounds, and feeling like a blob of blah. Beautiful my ass.
ha. i love it. i said those same words and everyone thought i was so rude. but its so true. especially for those of us who always have every bit of control over our bodies. It was so hard for me. i hated almost every minute of being pregnant. the good news is that even though it doesnt seem like it now, it goes by fast. the funny thing is that one day I would want to give my baby a sibling but i dont want to be pregnant anymore. Crazy huh? but anyway, its funny because i was just like you. felt fat all the time, every vegetable came up. it was horrible. but once again... my baby is the best thing that ever happened. i love her so much. and although i could have stood to feel a little prettier, she is so beautiful and i fall more in love everyday. seriously... im not even just saying that. you'll see. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :)
ReplyDeleteand believe me, you will bounce back after.