Today marks the first day I really felt stressed out since this whole pregnancy thing began. I'm feeling so overwhelmed and under prepared...two things that really suck when put together.
After my talk with Jen about jobs last night, I just feel like such a loser because I don't have a job. I mean, come on!! What does a girl have to do!?!?! I feel so worthless just sitting around not making any money. And now that we are looking at designing a nursery and buying baby stuff, I just feel worse.
I wish I could at least find a job around Melbourne somewhere that is somewhat decent. Even if I could just get something part-time... I was wondering if the Spas or Gyms around town were hiring...I could work at either of those. I just don't want to do sales...I'm so over sales. But just something to keep me busy that won't make me want to kill myself.
::sigh::
To top it all off, I'm stressing about the whole exercise thing. I feel like I'm going into this pregnancy in sh*tty shape. I splurged during the wedding, big time during the honeymoon, and haven't been doing so well since finding out about the baby. I'm the heaviest now that I've been in a long time, and it's so depressing.
I went to the gym today and did like an hour long workout, but I still came home feeling stressed out. Everyone is like, oh just relax and enjoy it, but they don't get that I'm not the type of person who can allow myself to gain a lot of weight and just enjoy it. It will really bring me down. If it's in my belly, then I'm fine, but I feel like everything else is blah right now too. And I don't want to spend my pregnancy down on myself for feeling chubby.
::sigh:: Maybe this is just hormones...hahaha!
Today we made the official "Facebook" announcement...been getting a lot of comments already. Feels good to have so much love and support.
it is hormones. dont let it get you down. i know exactly how you feel. i went from wearing what ever i wanted to NOT! during my pregnancy i was so upset it about it. i felt like i was going to be fat and he wasnt going to like me and then jealous that i had to change so much and he didnt. but now that i have my baby girl i know its all worth it, and with your motivation you will get your self back. dont worry. i think we are very much alike in that area and i am almost there. i know you will be there even faster than me. just make sure you dont stress about it too much. you are beautiful and you will be even more beautiful pregnant. trust your body, it knows what it needs to make your little one just perfect. you will be so happy in the end.
ReplyDelete