Distance Accomplished.

I’ve done it.  I’ve put 800 miles between me and my baby.  Feels weird.  I spent so much time thinking about how great it would be to have a break, take a breather, see my friends…that I never really grasped how difficult it would be.  I literally had to bite back tears in the airport every time I saw a baby…even started to tear up when they made the announcement that families traveling with infants could be seated first.  I instantly imagined what our first trip would be like…we’re already planning a trip up north in August to see our families, and it will be the first time we REALLY travel with Nash.  Today, I realized just how much I need him.  Even when I am sleep deprived and praying for just one more hour…please, just 30 more minutes…I can’t deny how much I love him.  It truly is amazing.

I can’t believe I have 7 full days away.  Although, that is not entirely true, as I will be flying into Melbourne on Friday before driving up to Jacksonville, so I will surely be able to see my husband and our little muffin, smell his amazing baby smell, and fight back those same tears as I prepare to depart again.

I can’t even imagine what I will do for these next few days.  I know it will go by quickly and I will not get to do everything I would like to, but I fully intend to make the most of them.  That way, I am assured to go home rested, refreshed, and really in need of a cuddly baby body at 3 am. 

My dear husband…he now faces his first night alone with the baby.  He has never had to take care of him on his own…give him a bath, make sure he naps, makes sure he eats.  True, his parents will be in town by noon tomorrow to assist, but he is on his own for almost 18 hours.  I truly hope it is simple, and everything comes naturally to him.  The last thing I want is for him to feel like there is a “certain” way to do things…even though I did leave him 4 pages of notes, I only did so to put his mind at ease.  Like a cheat sheet, in case he has questions.  If I know anything about him though, he will completely blank that I did this and where is that notebook anyways…and will emerge on the other side of this week battered but smiling.   I hope this brings him closer to Nash…that they truly have an opportunity to bond in a way that can only happen at 4:17 am when he smiles as if to say, ok daddy, time to play. 

More than anything…I hope they miss me as much as I miss them. 

Even so, I plan to spend the next week sleeping – first and foremost.  But also shopping, hanging out with old friends, having a drink or two, and maybe even going all out with a mani-pedi (my last one was the day I went into labor!).  I will also be working, sadly, but at least that work comes with a paycheck – something that I have been lacking regularly since November 2009. 

Note to self:  Live in the moment.  Stop and notice every thing around you and relish every little thing that makes you happy this week.  It will be over before you know it.