When he was first born, I made sure I cuddled him enough, made him feel safe, breastfed, read read read as much information as I could to make sure I was doing it right. I let him sleep on me, next to me, wherever he wanted, as long as he got the recommended amount of sleep. And I always comforted him when he cried. I barely slept and our house was a wreck because I was tending to my precious little man.
As he's gotten older, I've tried to give him the right balance of alone time and time with me/daddy/Nanny. "They" say that a child needs a certain amount of time to play by themselves in order to develop independence and confidence. News flash: He hates being alone. I've tried to get him to sleep in his own bed without me next to me all the time, or having to rock him all the way to sleep. But lately he's just reverted back to waking up every few hours just to have me come in there. He's even perfected this amazingly horrific, but completely fake cry. You'd think he lost a limb or something, but no...just needs a hug. I'm trying to make sure he eats the right things, and have even begun looking very closely at what I eat since he has shown an incredible interest in whatever food I'm eating despite him having only two little teeth. And despite my best efforts, he said Peace Out to breastfeeding months before I was ready (3 months of nursing, plus 1 strenuous month of exclusive pumping).
::sigh:: It's so much work...trying to do the "right" thing.
The other day at Wal-mart, I noticed a mother pushing her shopping cart with her car seat and baby up on top of the little seat area. I cringed immediately. A while back, before I had children, I was in front of a Wal-mart doing a radio remote and watched a car seat (and baby) fall out of that very position and slam upside down into the concrete. The mother was horrified and scooped up her screaming baby before beelining back to her car (wal-mart managers in tow). I will never forget that day. I remember thinking, "What an idiot that mother must be!" Why ever would you put your baby up there?!?! These days I see more car seats in that position than any other. I get that it takes up the whole friggin cart if you put your car seat in the big part and it's a pain to lug your heavy baby all through the store in the Bjorn or wrap or sling or whatever. I've done every version of this. Point of the whole story is that before I was a mother, I judged as if I knew the "right" thing. Now that I am a mother, I am terrified of doing the wrong thing because sometimes it's not so obvious. And people judge...oh yes, they do.
I am constantly judging my nanny, judging mu husband, judging myself....judging other mothers. Saw a grandmother give a 2-, maybe 3-, year old little girl a sip of her diet coke. I thought, my god! The chemicals, the caffeine, are you crazy?!? But who am I to judge, really? It's life's biggest puzzle...how do we raise a happy, healthy baby so that s/he grows into a happy, healthy adult? If you're anything like me, you just pray you don't do anything that will send them down the wrong path or screw them up royally.
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